Kizu na..

「傷な。。」

I, Fujitaka, working a part time job in a small restaurant in night and a college student in the morning. I was in love with my co-worker named Tsuda and he was a guy. But Tsuda don't know at all my feelings and everytime he's with me I can't stop but became nervous.

Everytime I got home from work to my apartment this guy Kao, my classmate in university was always here. We did the first time sleeping together when we're both drunk. But Kao always force me to have sex with him after that.

".... What are you doing again here?"

He just smiled at me while smoking in my room.

Everytime Kao is here in his apartment he wants to have sex with me. He always do a rough sex. I really don't like to sleep again to him after we did it when we are drunk he always force me and I promised to myself that I wont sleep again to Kao because I am really in love to Tsuda but he was forceful to me to do it with him.

Its another night and we have done it again. It was morning when I attend the first period of our class and my hips are really hurts because of last night. I saw Kao talking to his guy friends and I looked at him yet he is ignoring me that nothing happened to us last night. I was really angry when Kao snob me.

The university is done and I went to my part time. I become cheerful as ever because of Tsuda. I am very happy when Tsuda is around. Tsuda who always has a sweet voice to me when he was talking, that really makes me fell in love, has a girlfriend and I don't have an idea at all.

The part time ends for this night and I went back home and when I opened my room I saw Kao again in my room smoking..

"What are doing here again?!"
"You know what I want why I am here."

Kao grin at me. Because of my anger I suddenly shout to him and tell that I wont do it again to him because I don't like it..

"Anyways, we are not lover!! So would you stop-"

Kao makes an angry face and grab my hand and throw me in my bed. I am panting because of the hurt, Kao became forceful again. He did it because of what I said to him..

The thing that I don't like happened again to me tonight. I was crying and fell asleep.

Kao is sitting in the floor and smoke. He looked at me that I don't have an idea because I am sleeping and without noticing it I suddenly said Tsuda's name while I am sleeping and I don't have an idea but Kao makes an angry face while looking at me.

The next day, my university and my part time were both done and I am really tired. I was afraid to go home because I was guessing that Kao is in my apartment. But I don't know a place where I can stay with. When I opened the door Kao stared at me while smoking, I just ignored him. He grab me and he make an angry face and I leaned in the wall.

"Who's that Tsuda?!"
"Huh?"
"Don't reply me that! You mention his name.."
"When I did that?"
"While you are sleeping last night!"

I was speechless. I didn't noticed at all. I called myself an idiot for what I did. Kao makes an angry face and I wont look at his face.

"Maybe you did it with him, huh?!"
"What are you saying-"

He smack me until I fell in my bed.

He grab me and my both hands and grip it. He forced me. My back is bleeding. All I can do is said "Stop" and crying yet he wont listen to me. When I look to him I saw his painful face..

"... Why he was making that face while looking at me?"

I thought it while crying. After that I fell asleep and Kao sit in the floor looking at me and he was crying.

It was morning and I don't have university but I went in my part time job.

"What happened to you?!"

My supervisor was shocked when he saw my bandages in my face. I just make an excuse. I looked around and seems that Tsuda was not around.

"Sir, where's Tsuda?"
"Ah.. He is in day off.. He was on date with his girlfriend."

I was shocked when I heard it. When my supervisor left I was crying alone in the locker room.

When I got back home Kao is not around in my apartment.

"So he didn't came."

I sit and relax in the sofa. My tears suddenly fall. I cried. I can't believe that Tsuda has a girlfriend. My one-sided love where all gone.. I fell asleep and didn't noticed that Kao came late in my apartment. He went in my room and watched me sleeping. He sit in the floor and smoke.

"... I'm sorry for being forceful to you Fujitaka.."

I heard someone is crying and when I open my eyes i saw Kao's back hair. He was talking to me while I am sleeping. I was surprised.

"... I love you Fujitaka, but you don't noticed it at all so I became forceful. I'm really sorry. I really love you!"

I was in shocked when I heard he said that and I sit up from my bed. He was surprised when he saw me awake.

"... Kao.."

He step backward.

"Did I woke you up?"

I just shaked my head. Its unusual for Kao like that. It was my first time I saw him crying and first time he make a step backward from me. I looked at him and he wont look at me in the eyes. I went close to him.

"... Kao.. Is that true.. The things you are saying lately.."

He was blushing while avoiding his sight from me. I smiled at him and hug him.

"Why didn't tell you that to me earlier?"

He was shocked when I hug him tight.

"... I did.. The first time we did it when we're drunk but after doing it while saying those words you fainted. I thought you heard it but you didn't."

I don't remember a thing like that when we first did it. I am speechless.

"Fujitaka... I'm sorry for being forceful. I really love you that I did it because everytime I want to feel you my feelings you just noticed but nothing."

He was crying while looking at me. I kissed Kao. He was surprised because even we have sex we don't kiss. But this time I gave my answer to him..

"I love you too Kao.."

I smiled at him and he was blushing. Because of the happiness he hug me tight and crying.

"... Me too"

It was morning. It was the first time that Kao became gentle to me at bed. I saw his sleeping face while hugging me. I smiled at him and I suddenly remember what happened the first time we did it..

Because of being drunk.. I was about to fainted and suddenly Kao's sweat drip in my face.

"... Fujitaka, I love you.."

I fainted suddenly while he was saying it.

"... So that was happened.."

I look at him and I smiled while hugging him..

I didn't noticed it but Kao already awake and he was blushing...

END